Why Aren’t Women Interested In Leading a Relationship?

Hi Te-Erika,

I do not feel qualified to lead a relationship. I am clueless as to deciding what is best for us as a couple. It seems to me that women naturally know what is best. Why most people think the man should lead is beyond me.

When I approach women they are usually not interested in being the leader. The ones who are willing to be the leader want to role play or charge an hourly fee. I don’t seem able to find a woman who would like to lead but not as a prostitute or a role playing game.

Scott

Hi Scott,

Well, at least you know that you truly need a woman to help guide you in life. It’s great to recognize the value women add to your life but I see why you are frustrated. You want to relinquish the decisions completely to the woman and follow her lead without questioning. While that is the conceptual basis of a Loving Female Led Relationship, the way you present it can be a turn off for most women and let me tell you why.

When you approach a woman and tell her that you want her to be the leader it seems more like a chore than an honor. Powerful women are always being tasked with making decisions and leading others.  Then you come along wanting to place more decision making on her shoulders. When a man asks a woman to lead him he is giving her a task. The reason women charge you by the hour to role play is because most women see the type of leadership you want as a burden.

A Gentleman in a Loving Female Led Relationship empowers the woman he loves, he does not add burdens to her responsibilities. He lightens her load. He is capable of relieving the pressures from her life so that she can focus on creating the vision and leading their family there.

Think about it this way. If you were working for a boss she would give you responsibilities. If every time you needed to take care of your responsibilities you came to her for her input it would compel her to hire someone else.

In essence, NO WOMAN WANTS TO MAKE EVERY DECISION FOR YOU so that you can be lazy and not have to think.

You say you are clueless to decide what is best for you as a part of a couple? Then how will you recognize when you find a good woman to partner with? Are you seriously going to just leave it up to a random woman to decide? A Loving FLR is not a dictatorship. When you first meet a woman, she offers her vision and you decide if it’s where you want to go. You offer your input. She needs you to do that. When you come to the point where you trust her judgement because you have witnessed the positive results of her decisions then you will gradually grow to respect her and want to empower her by trusting her more.

If you want to be a mindless robot who follows orders you should go join the BDSM community and find a woman who wants a femdom relationship. She will focus on controlling you and nagging and punishing you. Women who want Loving FLRs want partners who are smart and can handle responsibilities on their own. In fact, a Gentleman in a Loving FLR is usually just as capable and wise as the woman, which is why he is attracted to her.  He wants her to have her way, not because he doesn’t know better, but because he loves it when she gets her way.

If you think you want a Loving FLR then take a different approach when you meet a woman. Instead of wanting her to control you and make all of the decisions for you right away, remove some of the burdens from her life. Listen to her needs and take care of them. Think of ways to make her smile and do them.

You don’t get into a Loving Female Led Relationship so that you don’t have to make decisions. That’s being a child. No woman wants that. You get into a Loving FLR because you have found a woman whose wisdom and guidance you trust. You want to be with her because you are amazed by her and you want to bear witness to the life she will create with your support.

Te-Erika