He Likes Being Selfish

He says he loves me but he likes being selfish. It’s been a few years since I have seen him. Him, who I have known for more than half my life already but somehow we never made it past ‘just friends’.

When he looks at me I can see the hope in his eyes, the love, the admiration. But what I don’t see is – a desire to please me.

I’m in your city. I informed him.

Great. I’ll stop by before work. He let me know.

No, you’re not stopping by before work. You’re coming to see me when you have more time to take me out to wherever I want to go.

It feels like a battle with him. He wants to do the minimum and I have to constantly correct him to put me first. I hate this feeling, this tug of war. It’s not natural for him to want to please me and he admitted it.

You’re comfortable being single. I told him as he drove me around on a tour of his city.

Yes. He agreed. I like doing what I want to do without considering anyone else.

Being selfish? I suggested. You like being selfish.

He looked over at me and huffed. Yes. I guess you’re right. I like being selfish.

It’s important to note that given the chance, ALL men will be selfish and it does take effort to break them out of that by telling them what you want from them and giving them the chance to give it to you.

Many women lose interest at the beginning because they want a man who wants to please them without having to be cajoled and I am one of them. As I looked over at him, seeing the excitement in his eyes, I rolled mine.

This man hasn’t offered to do anything special for me. He hasn’t offered to do little things to make me comfortable. He has been chivalrous and kind and is taking me wherever I want to go, but I want more.

I want to feel cared for without having to demand it.

I want to be recognized as a soft and precious woman and treated like such.

I want to be able to release my sweetness and be kind and loving. But I can’t. Not with him. He needs me to be rough, demanding and aggressive or he won’t listen.

But he does listen when I make a demand.

But I don’t want to have to make demands. And this is why I walk away from him, time after time. Year after year.

I’m fighting my way through this world alone already. I’m hurting and tired and in need of relief and I don’t want to have to bully my way into being loved passionately.

Can you anticipate my needs and meet them without me having to demand it?

Can you see that I am tired and offer me rest?

Can you see that I am thirsty and offer me a drink?

Can you see that I need to cry and offer me a hug?

Can you relieve some of my burdens and allow me to relax?

Can you rub my body and make love to me because you know I need it?

Do I have give you every little instruction because without them you will only think of yourself?

I am so tired of fighting with the world to give me what I deserve. Is there anyone out there who recognizes my worth and wants to stand beside me, to support me and keep me encouraged, while I continue the amazing goals I have set in motion?

Are there any truly supportive men, who want to be appreciated for their thoughtfulness, kindness and generosity? I have several women waiting to meet you and love you, even me. Connect with us.