Ivy League Professor Believes Men Should Take the Lead in Parenting
What an interesting article I came across today. Written in 2015 and published in The Atlantic, Princeton professor Andrew Moravcsik penned the intriguing assertion that more men should take the lead in parenting in order to support the success of women’s careers.
Well, slap me in the face and call me Sally. That’s similar to what is taught on Loving FLR. I applaud Andrew for sharing a story called Why I Put My Wife’s Career First yet I had to smirk at the fact that he termed it – take the lead in parenting instead of being a supportive spouse. When women take on the duties he outlines, no one calls them the lead parents. Maybe calling himself the leader, in any form, makes him feel good about his value as a man.
When his wife Anne Marie Slaughter, who is also a former Ivy League professor, wrote a provocative piece on Work-Life Balance she was thrust into the mainstage of opinion leaders which called for her to travel, speak and lead the discussion around women ‘having it all’. This led to her husband Andrew settling into the role of primary caregiver for the children when Mom was away several days each week. He relished the role and his wife’s prominence.
Andrew wrote:
In my years as lead parent, I have gotten the kids out of the house in the morning; enforced bedtimes at night; monitored computer and TV use; attempted to ensure that homework got done right; encouraged involvement in sports and music; attended the baseball games, piano lessons, plays, and concerts that resulted; and kept tabs on social lives. To this day, I am listed first on emergency forms; I am the parent who drops everything in the event of a crisis.
Andrew also wrote:
A female business executive willing to do what it takes to get to the top—go on every trip, meet every client, accept every promotion, even pick up and move to a new location when asked—needs what male CEOs have always had: a spouse who bears most of the burden at home.
We love and appreciate men who allow the brilliance of women to shine without the need to compete. Thank you, Andrew for sharing your story and giving the wonderful GENTLEMEN of the Loving FLR community, a voice.
How many of you men would enjoy being the stay at home parent if your wife’s career flourished? What do you imagine your life would be like- the benefits and drawbacks?
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I am very inclined to agree with the professor. I played a very large role in the upbringing of my 4 kids. We split the role of the lead caregiver as during the day, my wife had them while I was at work and I would be responsible for them from about 4:00 pm on. I was always the first up when they woke in the night and I would take the kids to the hospital and stay with them if there was an overnight stay. I fed them bathed them, drove them to activities when they were older. I also did the cooking, so much so, that we had neighbours who couldn’t handle my taking on what they saw as a woman’s role that they called me Donna quite often. That did not particularly bother me because I felt secure in my manhood and I truly enjoyed my relationship with my children. It was truly important to me and I am reaping the benefits now because my daughter sings the same songs to the kids at bedtime and reads them a lot of the same stories. I am proud of the time I spent with my kids and would not have traded any of that time for any other activity. This brought me such joy at the time and it has become one of my most cherished memories.