What If A Woman is Sadistic in a FLR?

Dear Te-Erika,

You advocate that men not let their fears stop them from trying FLR. But there are risks. One is total loss of control of the family’s finances. I would assume this is one of the first “rights” that the man sacrifices to his wife. In a perfect world, no big deal – they are a team.

But what if things go south? Say she turns out to have sadistic tendencies and he is not open to being whipped, cuckholded or feminized? You state that if he can’t tolerate it, then he can always leave. Yet this is not so easy if he has no access to their money. Lack of funds is a main reason why abused women stay in their relationship. That is a concrete barrier to leaving.

Related to this is the cliche that I think is more true than not and particularly applies here: “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely”. You may think you know your spouse. But anyone that is given such power could change, and likely not for the better.

So there are risks to this lifestyle for men but not do much for women.


Dear B,

A Loving Female Led Relationship is a relationship where the woman’s happiness and progress are at the center of the relationship. A woman who loves her partner would never be sadistic and hurt him, not in the way you describe. By definition, a Loving FLR is based on love; there is no sadism involved.

What you are describing is a masochistic’s mans fantasy. Men who are masochists daydream about women overpowering them and hurting them, controlling them and abusing them. Women in LOVING Female Led Relationships do not hurt their partners and would never make their partner feel helpless. Women in Loving FLRs make sure their partners feel safe and loved and happy to serve and support.

That is a terrible view of this relationship style and it is obvious that you have come to this ridiculous idea from members of the BDSM community. They are wrong.

No man (or woman) should be in a relationship where they feel powerless. Men participate in Loving FLRs because it delights them to please and support the woman they love, not because they are trapped.


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