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20 Responses to “My Wife Wants Another Lover

  • Te-Erika, I accept your explanation that our purpose as men is the happiness of our wives, and that we don’t own her (she own’s us right?), and if another partner is what fulfills her and makes her happy, we support her choices. We honor her choices and never say “no” to her unless it violates my core values, or makes me feel bad about myself or my life. this is my struggle. Our marriage vows did not limit her in any way, and included my honoring and obeying her. But I thought we would limit ourselves to each other. Can she, or you help me accept her finding pleasure in another man?

    • Hi Steve. I cannot help you to find pleasure in your wife being with another man. Finding pleasure in knowing your wife is with another man is a kink and most people do not enjoy that kink. However, your duty in a Loving FLR is to aid in her happiness. If you choose this type of relationship you are agreeing that you want her to be happy at all costs. This is one of those costs. If you win when she wins, watching her find pleasure and love is evidence of her winning. Try to be supportive of that.

  • They all leave me for a real man. I am honestly happy they find one. I do not see myself as a match maker, but I see myself and them unsatisfied in our relationship. I’m always unsatisfied, and worry I’ll be in this cycle forever

  • I am a plural marriage advocate for both wife and husband, allowing for the family leader to have more than one. Unfortunately it is not yet legal, but it can still be worked out privately. And if mutually agreed then both can have more than one partner.

  • Wait a minute. What? So his wife said she wants another lover, and you are signing off on this nonsense. Why even get married if, in the end, you want another lover? That does not make any sense at all.

  • Greg,
    If she cannot offer you confidence that this man won’t be a better match for her than you then you must not accept it within the relationship. The gift of your submission and devotion must be cherished if it is a loving FLR, and it seems to me that acting responsibly in the face of your devotion should be a fundamental tenet of the relationship. Unless this is a kink that you are in to as well or unless there is mutual confidence that this is just a purely physical pursuit of hers that will not threaten the privilege of your marriage then don’t go for it. From the way you have phrased her interest in this man it sounds like she is looking for a guiltless way to leave your relationship. From my perspective you are being led “lovingly” to a precipice and she may ask you to jump. I can’t imagine that your being asked to take the next step wouldn’t violate a core value or make you feel bad about yourself. Don’t fantasize that you can give selflessly what you can’t give without doing harm to yourself. I hope that it is not too late for your two or that I am just plain wrong.

  • This is crazy this is not a loving relationship

  • This is the question: does Loving FLR have any ethics? The decision-making acts of a woman are ethical, or rather arbitrary. Sometimes Loving does not come into the FLR of ethical order. So when a woman embarks on an eternally ruining decision, then a supportive man should protect her and help her make an ethical decision. Can a loving man look at the ruine of a loving woman? A strong woman is Mary Wagner, who after a woman fights for life, not Mistress of the BDSM, who is rich in ruining men.

  • I have to say I am surprised by this answer. I thought this website was supposed to be about “kink free” FLR.

    Cuckolding has, in fact, been a part of my FLR with my wife. It was a win-win for us because we both enjoyed it. She did it because she knew being cuckolded was a kink for me and the idea of sexual variety turned her on.

    However, I don’t think it is right in a supposedly kink free FLR to say the wife has the right to do something that may be emotionally harmful to he husband.

    • If a man knows a woman can experience another level of orgasm with a better endowed male, then it serves the relationship by supporting his wife physical needs and shows his is an all encompassiing love for her.

  • There is no loving when one party is selfish and willing to take more than give. You can put a dress and shoes on a pig, but it’s still a pig.
    They are married . They already took vows!
    To love and honor each other.

    If you want a cuckold relationship that is all good and well, but if one party is not desiring it, than saying it’s ok because your in an FLR Is insane.

    Have the courage to admit you want an affair and you don’t care who it hurts.

    That is not the act of love!!

    Btw, i have asked my wife to cuckold me in the past. She is wiser than me and has declined.
    She knows i couldn’t handle it as it takes special couples to make it work.

    Good luck

  • I totally agree with Tom. A good leader shouldn’t want you to suffer. If she is going to do this I feel she should keep it to herself as much as possible.
    Try to think of him as her just having another sex toy.
    The problem I’ve recently encountered was her wanting another man for me! Rather than herself an I’m just not ready for that but she is kind an encouraging me She says this is just another fear I have that will overcome

  • My conviction is that love is not to be loved back. To love someone is its own reward. I love women and when they leave me I still have nice memories.

    By the way, so far only men have commented. I am curious about the comments of ladies. 🙂

  • Do many females in FLRs want another lover or are they happy with one man?

    • Most women in Loving FLRs prefer having one partner. The ones that I have met, anyway.

  • I had an ex who was going to model in japan for several months and I told her if she fooled around there I’d be okay with it. I secretly hoped she would because it turned me on to no end. So I totally support this and if I am able to find a loving FLR I would be fine with it in marriage. I could also remain loyal to her with no problems.

  • I had to kind of transpose this article in my head, because my wife, years after we married, came out to me as lesbian. Since then, she has asked me to submit to permanent male chastity, and I’ve agreed. Then it became a FLR. I believe at some point she will want a female lover, and I truly want her to be able to enjoy that, and to stand beside (behind?) her for as long as she’ll have me. And I believe she’ll always love me and want to be with me, but I guess time will tell.

    • @Blaine. Very interesting personal experience you had with your spouse coming out as a lesbian. A similar thing happened to a first cousin of mine who was married with a woman who gave birth to two boys.

      My cousin and this lady even belonged to one of those “born again” Christian churches and were married for over a decade. I say married for only a decade because once she revealed her true gender preference, they broke up. Her initiative.

      I am curious however how did the “permanent male chastity” element get involved and how does that change the dynamics of your relationship with her? I am assuming that further intercourse with her is no longer possible, but what is the logic of denying you the ability to achieve orgasms?

      It seems that the two of you love each other very much and I wish you the best.

  • Thank you Te-Erika for your encouragement. My wife has a lover who pleases her, but she loves me. I am happy with this as it does take away the pressure of my pleasing her sexually, which I found was causing me and her stress. We are happy with this arrangement and have found it has made our relationship stronger.

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