You Don’t Need Kink To Be In a Female Led Relationship
The common expectation is that Female Led Relationships involve the woman forcefully dominating the man, disrespecting him,physically punishing him and taking advantage of him in every way to his detriment.
While that may be true of Kink-based Female Led Relationships that are based on Femdom, at LovingFLR.Com we are advocating for a Loving Female Led Relationship that is based on respect for the woman’s natural leadership ability and the man’s desire to support and empower the woman.
In a loving Female Led Relationship, a man wants to support and care for a woman because that is what pleases him. He does not need outside motivation or rituals to provoke his support. He cherishes her because that is what makes him feel like a man.
He feels like a real man when he is able to exceed all of her expectations, get her whatever she wants to be happy and make all of her dreams come true. He is satisfied by her smile. He lives to witness her progress.
Men who demand that Female Led Relationships be initiated by some sort of ritual where the woman has to perform a list of activities that center around making him feel inferior really need to go and pay someone to do that for them. That is not a loving Female Led Relationship. That is femdom and femdom is merely a time of play between two people. It isn’t a long term commitment like a loving Female Led Relationship is.
Men don’t need to be treated as though they are inferior in order to honor a woman’s choices and be a support to her. Men don’t need protocols or rituals to honor a woman’s choices and be a support to her. Men don’t need to be placed in chastity to honor a woman’s choices and be a support to her. Men don’t need to be degraded and humiliated publicly to honor a woman’s choices and be a support to her.
The basis of a loving, FLR is support for the woman and honoring her choices. If a loving, Female Led Relationship can thrive without a certain action, then that action is a kink.
A Female Led Relationship should not operate based on the woman actively and forcefully controlling the man simply because in a loving Female Led Relationship, the man wants to please her and does not require her to take action to motivate him or force him to do it. In a loving Female Led Relationship the man participates willingly and enthusiastically. He is skilled and wise enough to meet her challenges. He has value. He is not a masochist who needs to feel fear or pain in order to support the woman he loves.
When the whips break and the sun begins to set and the couple is far too frail to perform kinky play, will your Female Led Relationship still exist? Will he still respect her without the firm hand across his face or harsh words of correction?
That is why it is important to base your FLR on a desire to serve and support the woman instead of the service and kinks she can offer.
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Thank you for this article describing loving FLR. I had to wade through a lot of junk ( my opinion ) before I found this beautiful website. My desire to be in a female led relationship with my wife is based on my love for her and the fact that I believe she is the smartest most amazing woman in the world . I can fully trust her and I know she will never want humiliate me or disrespect me in any way. What you have described is exactly how I feel. Thank you for being a voice for loving FLR. Keep up the good work!
I have to admit, I am a refugee from kink sites. I thought the only place to look for a leader was on those sorts of sites. I battled for years trying to work out my place… but I was IN the wrong place to begin with…no wonder it was a disaster!
As the previous poster said it’s about love and mutual respect, not about humiliation. We are both (partners) better than that.
Those claiming to be “dominants”, on those other sites, had to be leaders , right?
Those claiming “dominance”, on other sites, have to care about their partners, right?
…Not so much, as I found.
I am inherently a person that is service oriented. My work in the environment, disability, youth programs and mental health, residential and vocational training, attest to that, if nothing else.
Service is my life and carries over into relationships.
I just love to do things for, and to please a partner…it’s just natural.
Having a “dominant” that doesn’t understand, want or even know about FLR, or even leadership of any kind, has turned out disasterously for me.
It just leads to, as I have found, Exploitation. My exploitation…
The respect for a Woman, that forms the basis of a Loving Female Led Relationship, goes both ways and has nothing to do with the “mistreatment” of the man.
It has nothing to do with kink. Kinks are tricks, and as mentioned on this site, its not about trickery or coersion.
I am by no means some low “worm” or other negative term that seems to permeate the words used to describe men. That’s not my kink, nor my fantasy fetish.
I am a thoughtful, caring, maybe even an intelligent man, that wants to be regarded as such… but who also wants a Loving Female Led Relationship.
One based in my service (for want of a better one word label) and their leadership (for want of another).
I am worth more than that, and I know the one I hope to serve, is worth more than that.
You couldn’t MAKE me serve the way I wish to…
You couldn’t MAKE me wish to follow your lead…
You couldn’t MAKE me do anything I didn’t wish to…
It would end our Female Led Relationship to do otherwise…