Couples tend to hit a rough spot in relationships when they don’t openly communicate about what they need from each other in order to feel loved. From my experience as a Relationship Coach, unexpressed desires are the number one factor that contribute to relationship dissatisfaction.
How can I help couples move past this issue?
One way is to introduce them to The 5 Love Languages, a concept and book created by Dr. Gary Chapman. In his book, Dr. Chapman offers 5 key ways to demonstrate love to the person in your life.
Discuss the following Love Languages with your partner. Ask your partner which of these Love Languages makes them feel valued. Then tell your partner which of these Love Languages makes you feel most valued.
You don’t have to choose just one. The most important thing is to SHARE and DISCUSS how you and your partner can express love to each other in ways that you actually value instead offering love in the way that you may prefer.
The 5 Love Languages
Physical Touch
Some people feel most loved when their partner caresses them, rubs their feet or body or offers them a hug.
Acts of Service
Some people feel most loved when their partner does things for them like running errands, cooking for them, washing the car, shopping for them or taking care of tasks that they do not like doing.
Receiving Gifts
Some people feel so much love when their partner gives them a surprise gift or token of their affection.
Quality Time
Some people feel loved when their partner devotes time to spend with them. Whether lounging in bed or going out on the town, dedicating a time just for your partner makes them feel like the center of the universe.
Words of Affirmation
For some, hearing their partner say THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE YOU or YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL TO ME feels better than winning the lottery. Verbal recognition and appreciation doesn’t cost anything, but to some, it lights up their life.
