My Needs Are My Husband’s Priority

I am 42 years old, I live in Denver, Colorado with my husband Ray, our son Raiden and my daughter Destiny from a previous relationship. I am a Le-Vel Brand promoter, I help people live better lives with plant based vitamins. For fun I love being out and about with my family and friends. We love going to the mountains, being in nature, going to museums, amusement parks, movies, hanging out with friends, going out for drinks and dancing. I like to always be busy. My family and I are very close. We have lots of open discussions about our futures, whats going on with us, our desires, we have a judgement free home and try to keep things positive, feeling and knowing we are loved and supported is my number one priority.

I have never read anything on Female Led Relationships; I was told about this site by Te-Erika. I met her in a group that helps to empower victims and survivors of abuse. She wrote a beautiful story about me and finding happiness in a loving healthy relationship years later after leaving a severe domestic violence relationship.

I learned from her that I am now in a Loving Female Led Relationship. This relationship has been phenomenal. My needs are my husbands number one priority. I am able to lead my own life and be independent. I know he is there and supportive if I need him, and encourages me always to make my own decisions and be active in life without him unless I ask for his input. This has helped me to appreciate my husband in so many ways, which adds tons of passion to our relationship since I am authentically grateful for him accepting me as I am.

The ability to be able to learn who I am as a woman is what distinguishes this relationship from my previous one. My likes, my dislikes, my strength and empowerment are all important to my husband. I did not have this opportunity to find who I was until I ended my former relationship at the age of 32. The challenges in this relationship have been centered around staying grounded. Sometimes I become so empowered I have to stop and make sure I am giving the same to him because I know he will always do or say whatever I wish, and do what he can to make sure I am fulfilled. It fills his ego to ensure that I am fulfilled, but I never want him to feel taken for granted. I want him to know he is adored and appreciated.

Even though it has been 10 years since I got out of a Domestic violence relationship, I often cry from what I went through. My husband in this relationship never judges me, he hurts for me. If I need to be alone he gives me space. If I cry he does what he can to meet my needs. He never asks why do I still hurt, or says to get over it. He makes me stronger by reminding me I will never go through that again, that he is here for me and I am worthy of the world. He encourages me to dress sexy, go out with friends, have drinks and go dancing without him, while he watches the kids. He never asks questions or feels jealous, even when I ask him if he ever is. He tells me, all those men can look all they want, but I know who my wife is coming home to. With that encouragement and trust who would ever want to be so silly to not appreciate such a man, a man with so much confidence and passion for his wife? It makes me grateful and so much more in love with him.

My husband is soft spoken, gentle, and super passionate. He listens to me when I speak, never has he raised his voice, but lets me vent. He doesn’t mind if I ask him to cook tonight, clean the house or take over the care of the kids. He’s a good man with a heart of gold and Thrives on my happiness, and knows I think very highly of him as a person. If more men were like my husband there would be a lot more peace in the world.

I think a lot of women meet these type of men and pass them off as their friend. You need to take your chance with the good guy, the guy you see as a friend. It’s important that even though you are that strong independent woman you need to give in a bit and be vulnerable a bit and give to him so it’s a two way street. When a good, passionate and encouraging man feels appreciated, he will give you the whole world.

~Shawnarai Arnold