What Are Some Red Flags For Dating Men?

November 3, 2017 Te-Erika Patterson

It’s a big world out there, especially for us single people hoping to make a connection. If you’re like me, you don’t necessarily need a relationship but it won’t hurt to have one, well, the right one of course. I truly enjoy my life as a single woman right now. Being completely honest I view an ongoing relationship with a man as an interruption of my fun, not to mention, my peace. Even still, I go out on dates and I have flings. I find myself attracted to people and I give them chances to connect with me, casually.

Through this process of casual dating I have learned to own my standards, never compromise and walk away immediately if I see a red flag. There is truly no need to compromise my standards for a relationship if I am already satisfied and peaceful without one. What are my red flags? Well, most of them would be considered absurd by the average person BUT, there are a few that relate to Loving Female Led Relationships and I want to share them with you.

If a man does any of these things while spending time with me chances are he’s not a good fit for a Loving FLR.

If he offers me something and I say ‘No thanks’ and he insists.

If a man does not understand that when I say NO, I mean NO, I take it as he thinks he knows what is best for me better than I do. That is NOT the type of relationship I want with a man. I have come to support myself and guide my life successfully and I don’t appreciate anyone, man or woman, insisting that I do anything that I have explicitly said No to.

If I tell him about choices I have made for my life and he criticizes them.

Any man who is critical of my choices and voices them out loud is definitely not a good fit for a Loving FLR. Being critical of my choices usually means he is controlling. I am a smart and talented woman with no huge complaints about my life. If I am not critical of my choices a man should not be either.

If I have to defend myself when discussing something with him.

I once had a discussion with a man about Loving FLRs and it turned into an aggressive debate. Two people who were not raised in the same household will have different values and that is okay if we agree to respect each other. Urging me to prove my point and negating each reason why I hold the beliefs I do indicates that this man believes he has to compete with me because he wants to be ‘right.’ A Gentleman never needs to be ‘right’, a Gentleman seeks understanding.

If I have had to become aggressive when discussing something with him and he later reminisces on the argument with a smile on his face as though it was a good memory.

Sometimes I allow an aggressive conversation of correction to happen with a man. One time a man sent a really stupid text asking me when he could come over- when we hadn’t even gone on a date yet. I called him and went the hell off on him. He called me back the next day to say hello and immediately began to recount how angry I was and how I really went in on him for being disrespectful. His tone of voice didn’t indicate a man who was remorseful- he seemed euphoric. A man who experiences euphoria when a woman corrects him is a masochist and he will consistently push her buttons so that he can continue to experience his happy place of being corrected and punished. My ambitions are much too complex to attempt to satisfy a masochist’s need for emotional pain. That’s a No from me. I have to throw in the towel on that one.