Why Didn’t My Female Led Relationship Work Out?

Back in the early days of the open discussion of Female Led Relationships I was coaching a couple on creating their FLR and it just would not stick. Back then, I was doing everything I could to help them to create a routine that demonstrated that SHE was the boss and HE was her willing servant.

She was not interested and he became disappointed and even thought that she wasn’t the one for him because she was not dominant enough and did not enjoy this type of interaction.

Years later, after much personal discovery and working with dozens of couples I realize that I was wrong in what was teaching and that is why I could not help them to create a Female Led Relationship that worked for BOTH of them.

How did I teach FLRs that was actually… wrong?

  • I taught couples that the woman should play the role of controlling and the man should be her submissive servant.
  • I encouraged women to embrace the man’s fantasy of catering to her like royalty using rituals and pet names like ‘Ma’am’ and ‘Goddess’.
  • I encouraged men to bring women to me so that I could teach them how to be more aggressive and less accommodating.

I was WRONG for ALL of that.

And I am sorry.

The truth is, if a Female Led Relationship caters to the man’s fantasy of how she should interact with him and how much she needs to change in order to become his fantasy, the FLR will automatically fail.

If HE has a fantasy for his FLR that does not include her desires as a priority, he is manipulating and hurting her.

So many women have come to me in tears because their husband’s wanted a FLR and they felt that they were not good enough or strong enough. The common FLR fantasy, according to the internet, that demands that the woman must be controlling, aggressive and eager to punish, is actually harmful to women.

Women cannot live out their best lives and become empowered to be their best selves while catering to men’s fantasies to be RULED OVER.

Your Female Led Relationship can and WILL work out if you are willing to do ONE thing:

Ask her what 3 things you can do to ensure that she feels safe, secure and cared for – and then DO THEM without demanding that she change for you.

Female LED does not mean being controlled, punished or harshly corrected by a woman. That type of abusive fantasy belongs in the BDSM community. When you try to bring that abuse into a world where women want respect for who they are, you are damaging to women and our society. The only women who would enjoy being abusive and controlling and are willing to angrily punish you are women who have been abused, controlled or punished by someone else and they are holding that energy.

Truly powerful women are making power moves in this world. They are focused on fitness, family, fun and furthering their careers. Do not distract them with your need to be abused. Do not stress them so that they will be motivated to abuse you.

If your Female Led Relationship is not about pleasing HER in the ways that SHE needs to be pleased, you are not creating a FLR, you are manipulating her into pleasing YOU and you are being dishonest.

If you appreciate this TRUTH about FLR please show SUPPORT.

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