I’m Afraid to Ask My Wife for a Loving FLR
Dear Te-Erika,
I have not got the courage to approach my wife about developing a Loving FLR because she is pretty old fashioned in that sense. I am afraid I will scare her off. Please help. I adore powerful women.
Mark
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Hi Mark,
When men write in to me to explain that they are afraid to talk to their wives about a Loving Female Led Relationship it confuses me. Why would you be in a relationship with someone that you can’t talk to about your desires? Why would wanting to give a woman the world be something that would be a turn off to her?
Although I teach Loving FLRs and advocate for it because I definitely see the benefits for women, sometimes I wonder if I am missing something because so many people seem to be ashamed of this. Is there something I don’t know about? Or am I just so bold that most of you worry about what others will think of your relationship and I don’t? Is that it? Is your fear of Loving FLRs related to how you will be perceived by society? Have you positioned your life in such a way that you will lose something if someone else does not approve of how you are living? Why did you do that to yourself? Why don’t you go ahead and change your role in society so that the approval of others means nothing?
Beyond that, why are you ashamed of your desires? Do you really have a desire to empower your wife or is something else that you really want? What is it that you can say about a Loving FLR that would be a turn off?
Hello dear wife. I would like to give you the relationship of your dreams. All you have to do is express what you want and allow me to take care of it.
How can any woman not take that as a gift from the heavens?
Are you perhaps, offering a Loving FLR with conditions? Are you trying to get her to become YOUR fantasy instead of becoming hers?
If you want a Loving FLR, a true Loving Female Led Relationship, you don’t have to ask your wife’s permission at all. Just ask her what she wants and do it. When she makes a request, just do it. When there is a decision to be made, ask her what she wants and then do it.
Anything else you want to add to this simple situation is for YOU and that disqualifies it as a Loving FLR.
Te-Erika
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This is excellent advice that Te-Erika has provided. Both the letter and the idea of simply beginning to ask your wife what she wants is in my opinion the best way to start.
I have been in an FLR with my wife for many years now but honestly I never formerly went to her and told her of my desire for her to lead our household. Rather, I simply began doing things for her and also asked her if there was any housework I could do for her to give her time to relax or do something else she enjoys more.
I soon learned that she really did not like cleaning the house. As I proved to her I could clean, follow her instructions, and I presented to her an eagerness to please her, over time she has become very willing to lead our household.
Her confidence and our roles continue to grow in our FLR. I am very blessed to be able to serve her and pamper her every day.
So, start by simply asking what she wants done and do it enthusiastically.