7 Responses to “He’s a Gentleman, Not a Submissive Man

  • Beautifully written distinction. Clarity so well executed we should print and wallpaper it to inspire men and women everywhere. Bring it!

  • Beautifully Written and Beautifully Felt. Thank You for this essay.

  • Absolutely amazing! Thank you so much. What a gift you are. I am definitely printing this list of a gentleman and posting it on my frigidaire tonight!
    You Rock

  • Yes, a gentleman is what I want, not a kinky, submissive who wants to be told what he wants according to his needs.

    • I totally agree with this ethos. Chivalry should still be alive. I may be shy, but I am not a doormat. Rather, if I ever find my Lady, I wish to empower her and support her. I wish to be her friend, knight, confidant, husband, and father of her children.

  • I have often wrestled with the term “submissive”. Yes I submitted in various aspects of a relationship. I didn’t see myself as a submissive.

    I am so glad that you included the term deference. To me that was a more applicable term. Submissive infers to some extent, weakness…in mind, spirit or body… or all three at once!

    In my mind, to defer to someone infers a level of strength in mind, body and spirit … a choice.

    I am so glad that you summed up this deference in,… ‘ A Gentleman in a Loving FLR has his own values, opinions and preferences. The woman he loves values that he has his own mind and contributes wisdom to the relationship.’

    …and concluded with…’ A Gentleman defers to the woman he loves because he wants to.’

  • I wonder if most women want to be told what they should want. Some women are content to let a man do pretty much as he wishes as long as they do not find his behavior objectionable. Some women may want to be seen as having control and the man is expected to follow rules and ask permission. Some women may just want to physically or emotionally dominate her man periodically for a variety of reasons. In many cases a woman wants security and feeling like she owns a man gives her that feeling. Men may be submissive and not even realize it, many men who accept being a cuckold think it was their idea but nothing spells submit like that word.

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