It’s Okay To Keep Your FLR a Secret
For the past few days I have been wrestling with the fact that I have a desire to push Loving Female Led Relationships into the mainstream yet there aren’t many people willing to walk with me. I asked myself- If I have the drive, the talent and the skills to help push this forward, why can’t it happen? It can happen if I want it to, but at what price?
I have already done one radio interview about Loving FLRs and I have another scheduled for next week. I can get the press and attention for this relationship dynamic but will it be best represented when the audience I am advocating for doesn’t feel comfortable being in the spotlight?
I am not here to make anyone feel guilty about their choice for a lifestyle or their choice to be discreet about their love life. As a capable leader of this movement to advance a Female Led Society I have to meet the members where they are and respect their choices as I would have them respect mine.
Today I learned that it’s okay to lead a stealth movement. Just because I want to make an impact doesn’t mean we have to do it loudly. We will continue to grow as a community if I continue to do the work- quietly.
It’s okay for you to have a Loving FLR and to be private about it. I won’t push you to support me in my goals to make this relationship style mainstream. In fact, I will relax on the goal of pushing this into the public eye. Instead I will focus on supporting the men and women who do know that this is what they want. I will continue to write books for you, I will continue to coach you, I will continue to create love matches for you and I will continue to offer support for those who have chosen to live this lifestyle, whether or not you ever mention it to anyone. I want you to feel safe.
I know that I have the capabilities to push this forward in a major way, but if you are not ready to go with me, I have to relax my vision. After the FLR interview scheduled for next week, I won’t promote FLRs publicly any longer by doing interviews. It’s tough enough to try to explain this concept to mainstream audiences but I’m attempting to do it as a SINGLE woman with no couples willing to stand beside me as examples- which makes it so much more difficult.
Maybe one day things will change but for now, I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to show public support, and I don’t want to feel as though I have been wasting my time by growing this and realizing that I am unable to push it further. It’s okay to be your secret support. It’s important for me to protect your safety and privacy.
I have a new project and I’ll work on promoting that instead.Â
Thank you for allowing me the space to figure out how to continue to be a support to you while being fulfilled myself. I must admit, as a single woman on my own in a big city, I do need to feel supported and loved too. If I can’t get that through personal interactions, I do look for it through the work that I do.
Maybe that is good. Maybe that is bad. But it is what it is and I’m fine with it. What I won’t do is push you past your limits to satisfy my vision for growth. I can pivot and create growth elsewhere. It’s my choice.
Thanks for following along.
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A Forbes article “Top 10 Traits Women Want In A Husband” revealed the following:
No. 1: Mutual Attraction and Love
No. 2: Dependable Character and Faithfulness
No. 3: Emotional Stability, Maturity and Kindness
No. 4: Desire for Home and Children
No. 5: Intelligence and Confidence
No. 6: Sociability
No. 7: Pleasing Disposition
No. 8: Ambition and Industriousness
No. 9: Good Health
No. 10: A Good Financial Prospect
No. 12: Good Looks
Those are the traits that men are being told that women want. Men are also told that there are 25-30 men seeking a FLR for every one FLR seeking woman. The majority of FLR seeking men will “settle” for a vanilla woman rather than remaining alone.
To publicly state that we are looking for a woman to take charge and lead us in our relationship will make us look weak, lacking confidence and not having ambition.
I have a MBA and am the CEO of a medical organization. I lead mostly women and fewer men because the medical support staff are almost all women. I want a woman to take control when I am with her away from my work. That being said, I will not submit to just any woman. I am waiting for a FLR woman who is physically fit and good looking. I want what I want and I am not willing to compromise. I have to be physically and emotionally attracted to a woman.
I am interested in additional comments.
Hello. Instead of saying you want a woman to take charge and lead you, you should be thinking you want to support an amazing woman to achieve her dream life. That is the difference between what I teach and what so many THINK a FLR is all about.
Thanks for your advice.
In my opinion, supporting a woman’s dreams and following her to where she wants us to go are similar.
I want to help another woman to live her dream life. I have plenty of time and money to worship a woman but I have needs as well. I have no problem admitting I worship this woman but she has yet to understand both what a FSL relationship is and please me daily for this wonderful life rather than live in her country in abject poverty.
I see your obstacle. The woman in question may not want to “please you daily” as you put it. You are not looking for a FLR, you are looking for a femdom relationship where the focus is on your wants and needs. You are on the wrong site.
‘ You are not looking for a FLR, you are looking for a femdom relationship where the focus is on your wants and needs. ‘
Right.
My concept of a FLR is that ultimately, I don’t have desires. She has the desires and I live to satisfy those. I would need to know that she thought about me and that she was happy.
As long as we were together (and exclusive!) then I could love her, serve her and that would be all the reward I might receive.
However, I am sympathetic towards men who need a FLR and do not know how to find one.
I fear I will appear weak, feminine or even lazy; hoping for her to lead and make decisions.
It’s two days since I discovered the concept of FLR and I have no idea how to propose the idea to a female. Tough because that’s what I’ve got to do if I will ever find happiness.
I’m a teacher and I live abroad, but I’m going to try.