10 Responses to “Should I Call Myself a Submissive?

  • I think that submissive is accurate. But in the kink light, that often comes into play when speaking FLR to the unknowing, it is misleading. The first term that came to me was “devoted”. I was a devoted husband to my late wife. We did not have a FLR in the fullness that is is spoken here. She led where she was better (and then some) and I led where I was better. But all of the time we were devoted to God and eachother.

  • 2 better words – subordinated -or- supportive. On the other hand, I’d like to re-emphasize what dave said…”she led where she was better…and i led where i was better” not to mention having a relationship with God. At this point, I see quite a number of things I don’t like about FLR’s, but while I am still in a learning mode, i will first educate myself further about just what i’m starting to get myself into… and BTW, I don’t see anything wrong with empowering women, although like everything else, the right BALANCE is always the key to achieving the best overall outcome…

  • I think that when describing ourselves instead of describing ourselves as submissive, we should use the label of under my wife’s authority. I realized that some men might find this label humiliating but we should be proud of being a follower of a female authority, just supporting and undermine her decisions.

  • I like being my wifes submissive. I am a strong aggressive person, and need and even stronger woman to keep me in the right direction. She is the wind in my sails and I am at her full disposal to accomplish all of her goals. We have a D/s relationship. That being said I AM NOT submissive to anyone else, and if pushed, I push back 10x harder. I am sort of a dick to be honest, and hate arguing with my best friend, so I submit to her as a gift for her magnificence as a human being that I have devoted my self to serving

  • Words can be tricky. SUPPORTIVE is a good description of how I interact with women. I help. I listen. I suggest. I pay attention. But the word doesn’t describe how I feel. It does not describe WHY I behave this way. It doesn’t speak of the meaning it has for me.

    SUPPORTIVE is a politically correct way to express how I behave but, at the same time, it hides something much more complex. It certainly doesn’t explain why my girlfriend is very DIRECTIVE with me.

  • Submissive has a negative history of kink (BDSM)to many women.The word “Gentleman” belongs to a different generation so I am thinking about “gentle male.” The word implies that her male is soft and gentle without being totally submissive and a door mat. Well, it is a thought anyway!!

  • I commented to someone today that I am the “passive” one in our relationship. It still doesn’t quite paint a complete picture of our relationship, but it fits better than submissive. The word submissive has baggage from the kink world that does a disservice to describing our relationship.

  • All good points. Words are important but sometimes one word isn’t enough: it either carries baggage that may not apply (“submissive”) or isn’t descriptive enough to capture the entire dynamic (“supportive”, “devoted”).
    I like some of the language here on lovingflr: I’m a man who honors my lady’s choices and devotes myself to prioritizing her joy and fulfillment. That may mean I take the lead in areas that I excel but always with the goal of maximizing her fulfillment.
    I refer to her as my “board of directors”: even if she has assigned me to be the CEO in certain areas, I ultimately still am accountable to her, and love that I am.

  • I like the word supportive and also empowering. My wife/Goddess has my complete support with anything she desires. Because I am a people pleaser, I enjoy making her smile and making her life easier. By showing through my actions every day, I have empowered her to fully lead our household and feel comfortable doing so.

    For us, it feels natural now for my wife to direct what gets done, what the priorities are for that day/week, and for me to support her. It also has empowered her to continually raise the bar for me to meet her needs fully, daily, and enthusiastically. This empowerment she feels makes leading and directing me something she can do guilt free.

  • NICE. It’s what everyone should aspire to be. It’s what Christ called us to be.

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