He’s a Gentleman, Not a Submissive Man
When a man is attempting to define himself in regards to his desire for a Loving FLR, he may use the word submissive simply because he is limited by available vocabulary. After interacting with many, many men in Loving FLRs, I realize that just because a man describes himself as a submissive, doesn’t mean he should wear that title forever.
In fact, many men who think they are submissive, are really unaware of the fact that they are truly – Gentlemen.
A Gentleman is a man who engages in a Loving Female Led Relationship willingly. He has no need to be controlled, punished or forced to cater to the woman he loves. He does not need to be manipulated or tricked into offering a woman her heart’s desires. He regards his lady as his treasure.
He may believe he is submissive because there is really no other language for a man who wants to defer to the wishes of the woman he loves, until now.
He is not a submissive, his is a Gentleman.
A submissive man needs to be told what to do because he prefers to be led by someone else. He believes the opinions of others are more valuable than his own and he second guesses himself in favor of the opinions of those he trusts or respects.
A Gentleman in a Loving FLR does not do that. A Gentleman in a Loving FLR has his own values, opinions and preferences. The woman he loves values that he has his own mind and contributes wisdom to the relationship. Even though his preferences often take a backseat to hers, this happens because he truly does enjoy making her smile, not because he does not trust himself.
How to recognize a Gentleman:
- He consistently prepares to make her life as comfortable as possible.
- He anticipates her needs and meets them.
- He works diligently to give her her heart’s desires.
- He wants her to have her way, because it makes him happy to do so.
- He is smart and often a leader among his peers.
- He is mentally capable of loving and being loved.
- He is capable of empowering the woman he loves financially, emotionally and with love.
- He wants to be the greatest gift to her.
When we encounter a man who has the above traits we can stop using the label SUBMISSIVE and call him what he really is- a Gentleman.
Remember, a submissive man needs a woman to take control of his life. A Gentleman defers to the woman he loves because he wants to. A Gentleman is capable of securing a wonderful life for himself on his own yet he values when she offers guidance to him when necessary because he appreciates her as a woman and he views her opinions as the ultimate guidance to upgrade their love and lifestyle together.
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Beautifully written distinction. Clarity so well executed we should print and wallpaper it to inspire men and women everywhere. Bring it!
Beautifully Written and Beautifully Felt. Thank You for this essay.
Absolutely amazing! Thank you so much. What a gift you are. I am definitely printing this list of a gentleman and posting it on my frigidaire tonight!
You Rock
Yes, a gentleman is what I want, not a kinky, submissive who wants to be told what he wants according to his needs.
I totally agree with this ethos. Chivalry should still be alive. I may be shy, but I am not a doormat. Rather, if I ever find my Lady, I wish to empower her and support her. I wish to be her friend, knight, confidant, husband, and father of her children.
I have often wrestled with the term “submissive”. Yes I submitted in various aspects of a relationship. I didn’t see myself as a submissive.
I am so glad that you included the term deference. To me that was a more applicable term. Submissive infers to some extent, weakness…in mind, spirit or body… or all three at once!
In my mind, to defer to someone infers a level of strength in mind, body and spirit … a choice.
I am so glad that you summed up this deference in,… ‘ A Gentleman in a Loving FLR has his own values, opinions and preferences. The woman he loves values that he has his own mind and contributes wisdom to the relationship.’
…and concluded with…’ A Gentleman defers to the woman he loves because he wants to.’
I wonder if most women want to be told what they should want. Some women are content to let a man do pretty much as he wishes as long as they do not find his behavior objectionable. Some women may want to be seen as having control and the man is expected to follow rules and ask permission. Some women may just want to physically or emotionally dominate her man periodically for a variety of reasons. In many cases a woman wants security and feeling like she owns a man gives her that feeling. Men may be submissive and not even realize it, many men who accept being a cuckold think it was their idea but nothing spells submit like that word.